You’re Not Called to Fix People
I used to think my job as a Christian was to fix everyone around me. If someone was struggling, lost, or hurting, I thought it was my responsibility to correct them, guide them, and basically “make them right.” I was exhausted, frustrated, and honestly, a little prideful.
Here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: you’re not called to fix people. You’re called to love them. God changes hearts, not you.
We live in a world obsessed with “fixing” people. And I mean, religion practically trains us to do it. It whispers: “If they’d just do it right… if they’d just obey… if they’d just clean up their act, they’d be loved, they’d be accepted, they’d be right with God.”
Let me stop you right there. That is a lie. A trap. A deception. That’s the law masquerading as love.
The gospel flips everything we think we know. Grace doesn’t wait for people to get better. Grace meets people where they are broken, messy, imperfect, because that’s exactly where Jesus met you. You didn’t earn it. You didn’t clean yourself up first. You didn’t perform enough good deeds to deserve it. Grace found you in your mess. That’s the model. That’s the way. That’s the calling.
Paul writes in Ephesians 2:8-9: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith, and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God, not by works, so that no one can boast.” You didn’t fix yourself to earn God’s love, and neither will anyone else.
Jesus said in John 13:34-35: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Notice it doesn’t say, “If they change first, then love them.” Love is the signal. Change is God’s job.
I’ll be honest, this took me a long time to actually live. There are people I’ve tried to “fix,” to force into a mold I thought they should fit. And it always ended in frustration. Until I started just loving. Really loving. Meeting them where they are. Listening. Praying. Being present. And when I let God do the changing, hearts began to soften. People started to transform, not because of my words, my wisdom, or my correction, but because of Jesus living in me and showing up through me.
Stop looking at others’ faults. Stop picking apart their failures. Stop telling yourself that if you love them enough, teach them enough, push them enough, they’ll finally be “fixed.” That’s religious thinking. That’s law masquerading as love.
Here’s the kicker: loving people without trying to fix them is liberating. It frees you from the burden of control and perfectionism. It lets the gospel breathe through you. And it gives others room to experience God’s grace in a real, tangible way.
If you’re struggling with this, if you feel like your calling is to correct, judge, or fix, stop. Take a deep breath. Step back. Pray. Ask God to show you how to love the way Jesus does: freely, radically, and without expectation. Remember, transformation is His work, not yours.
Practical ways to love without fixing:
Listen more than you speak. Sometimes your presence is the only “message” someone needs.
Pray for them daily, without an agenda.
Show kindness in small ways: a message, a meal, a smile.
Let go of expectations. Their journey is between them and God.
So today, let that sink in:
You’re not God. You’re not the Holy Spirit. You’re not the fixer. You’re the vessel of grace. The messenger of love. The reflection of Jesus.
Love. Let God do the rest.
And here’s what I hope you take with you today: loving people doesn’t require correction. Loving people doesn’t require perfection. Loving people doesn’t demand change before it’s given. Love simply loves, because Jesus first loved you. That’s it. That’s radical. That’s gospel. That’s freedom.
—Jimmy Belloso
